emotional maturity levels, a descriptive list from Peter Scazzaro

infants
look for others to take care of them
have great difficulty entering into the world of others
are driven by need for instant gratification
use others as objects to meet their needs

children
are content and happy as long as they receive what they want
unravel quickly from stress, disappointments, trials
interpret disagreements as personal offenses
are easily hurt
complain, withdraw, manipulate, take revenge, become sarcastic when they don’t get their way
have great difficulty calmly discussing their needs and wants in a mature, loving way

adolescents
tend to often be defensive
are threatened and alarmed by criticism
keep score of what they give so they can ask for something later in return
deal with conflict poorly, often blaming, appeasing, going to a third party, pouting, or ignoring the issue entirely
become preoccupied with themselves
have great difficulty truly listening to another person’s pain, disappointments, or needs
are critical and judgmental

adults
are able to ask for what they need, want or prefer- clearly, directly, honestly (respectfully)
recognize, manage, and take responsibility for their own thoughts and feelings
can, when under stress, state their own beliefs and values without becoming adversarial
respect others without having to change them
give people room to make mistakes and not be perfect
appreciate people for who they are- the good, bad, and ugly- not for what they give back
accurately assess their own limits, strengths, and weaknesses and are able to freely discuss them with others
are deeply in tune with their own emotional world and able to enter into the feelings, needs, and concerns of others without losing themselves
have the capacity to resolve conflicts maturely and negotiate solutions that consider the perspectives of others