https://brandyjensen.substack.com/p/from-the-archives-oh-shit-i-think

I won’t lie to you, it is sometimes very horrible. I was most recently rejected so thoroughly — met with a kind of blank astonishment that I had imagined my feelings were returned — that it felt as though everyone else could surely tell. Like strangers on the street could smell it on me, like my dogs walked slightly farther ahead to avoid any association with such a pitiable, unloveable creature. Yes, it was humiliating. Yes, it was painful. Yes, it was still worth it. Because for some brief, however misguided few weeks there was nothing in the world that was boring to me. I started looking at the things that mean the most to me, things I often take for granted, in the new light of wanting to explain them to someone else. I felt present and eventful, flush with the unfolding thrill of revelation (this is how I see things, do you see them this way also?), alive to the gentle pleasure of knowing and becoming known. The alternative to suffering is not its absence, just suffering in a different way, and I would rather suffer for being a fool than a coward.

Do not love half lovers Do not entertain half friends Do not indulge in works of the half talented Do not live half a life and do not die a half death If you choose silence, then be silent When you speak, do so until you are finished Do not silence yourself to say something And do not speak to be silent If you accept, then express it bluntly Do not mask it If you refuse then be clear about it for an ambiguous refusal is but a weak acceptance Do not accept half a solution Do not believe half truths Do not dream half a dream Do not fantasize about half hopes Half a drink will not quench your thirst Half a meal will not satiate your hunger Half the way will get you no where Half an idea will bear you no results Your other half is not the one you love It is you in another time yet in the same space It is you when you are not Half a life is a life you didn't live, A word you have not said A smile you postponed A love you have not had A friendship you did not know To reach and not arrive Work and not work Attend only to be absent What makes you a stranger to them closest to you and they strangers to you The half is a mere moment of inability but you are able for you are not half a being You are a whole that exists to live a life not half a life Kahlil Gibran. "Do Not Love Half Lovers."