hmm, dependence. i've only recently discovered it has to do with what my actions speak, and begins where my first impulse lies. the moment i process that there is a decision to be made, dependence begins by catching myself when i say, "oh, i can handle this by myself. you don't have to worry father, this is MY territory." dependence is not paralysis, it is not weakness. it is entrusting my life into the hands of someone who knows my every capacity, acknowledges that i have been uniquely gifted, and yet surpasses what i can do in such a way as to totally embarrass my little efforts. putting me in my place, serving to remind me that i am small, saying gently, "listen to me, revere me, as it is written in proverbs 9,
9 Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still;
teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning.
10 "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom,
and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.
11 For through me your days will be many,
and years will be added to your life. "
so dependence recognizes that God is sovereign, puts me in my rightful place. for God would go on being and go on reigning even if i didn't give him praise. he would still thrive. the part i have had to suffer so many, many times is that i wouldn't.
it's also humility, it's also recognizing that no matter how long i serve, or simply live my life according to his teachings, that there are parts of my heart that still have not heard the gospel. i know my recurring struggles of my short-term memory, that the lessons i absorb do not always stay, that i forget so easily the gift of his son, or the power of his love to heal, to absolve, to overcome. over and over, i am so very guilty of settling for less than his perfect, abiding, abounding love. i know how easily satisfied i am. i know how i'll clutch onto everything that shines, these traps of fleeting pleasure. i know how i live for the here and now, that my initial actions are driven to protect my petty sense of security. i know how the gospel and its implications are not always real to me.
there needs to be a turning point. there needs to be a commitment. "i have decided to follow jesus. no turning back, no turning back..."
oh my love will fly to you each night on angels' wings
godspeed
sweet dreams
9 Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still;
teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning.
10 "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom,
and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.
11 For through me your days will be many,
and years will be added to your life. "
so dependence recognizes that God is sovereign, puts me in my rightful place. for God would go on being and go on reigning even if i didn't give him praise. he would still thrive. the part i have had to suffer so many, many times is that i wouldn't.
it's also humility, it's also recognizing that no matter how long i serve, or simply live my life according to his teachings, that there are parts of my heart that still have not heard the gospel. i know my recurring struggles of my short-term memory, that the lessons i absorb do not always stay, that i forget so easily the gift of his son, or the power of his love to heal, to absolve, to overcome. over and over, i am so very guilty of settling for less than his perfect, abiding, abounding love. i know how easily satisfied i am. i know how i'll clutch onto everything that shines, these traps of fleeting pleasure. i know how i live for the here and now, that my initial actions are driven to protect my petty sense of security. i know how the gospel and its implications are not always real to me.
there needs to be a turning point. there needs to be a commitment. "i have decided to follow jesus. no turning back, no turning back..."
oh my love will fly to you each night on angels' wings
godspeed
sweet dreams
posted by steph at
1:34:00 PM
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