show up to your own life for the rest of your life! tomorrow begins a year of quitting making decisions out of fear

for completists: the posts at the bottom of this page helped so much: https://discussions.apple.com/thread/4572312?start=75&tstart=0 merry christmas!

i need help with me!

laughter is carbonated holiness. -anne lamott

a plump plum plummeted onto a plumber's thumb.

Seinfeld believes funniness is genetic. When his father, Kalman, was stationed in the Pacific during World War II, he'd transcribe jokes he heard and store them in a box for safekeeping. "In the army, that's kind of how you got through it," Seinfeld says. "People would tell jokes by the score, because what else are you going to do to maintain sanity? The recognizing of jokes as precious material: that's where it starts. If you've got the gene, a joke is an amazing thing. It's something you save in a box in a war." Since Richard Pryor, at least, confession has been prized in stand-up, and this is as true today as ever. The biggest stand-up story of 2012 came this summer, when the comedian Tig Notaro took a Los Angeles stage and wrung laughs from a saga of personal misery that included the sudden death of her 65-year-old mother followed by a breast-cancer diagnosis. At Seinfeld's office, I asked him what he'd do, onstage, if he had a month like that, and I appended a "God forbid" to the question. "Thank you for 'God forbid,' " he said. "I love it. Hilarious. You have to say that." He clapped his hands with delight. "If I had a month like that, I'd do a whole bit about 'God forbid.' " Seinfeld's father died in 1985, while battling numerous cancers, "probably ultimately of heart failure," Seinfeld says. (His mother, 98, lives in Florida.) He never told jokes about it, he said, because "it doesn't make me funny. If it makes you funny, that's what you talk about. That bit for Tig Notaro, it decided it wanted to be a bit. The bit is using her to get to the audience, and she's lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time. She's the second baseman in the double play: You've just got to be there to catch it and throw it on. She's a genius for recognizing it and making the move." But he insisted that bloodletting was not requisite for greatness. "What does Don Rickles tell us about himself in his show? Probably not much. He's not pouring his guts out to you, but his craft is so amazing, his skill is so amazing, there's depth in that." http://mobile.nytimes.com/2012/12/23/magazine/jerry-seinfeld-intends-to-die-standing-up.xml?f=19

http://www.fabsharford.com/thoughts-and-prayers-for-connecticut/ http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/sermons/no-condemnation-in-christ-jesus-part-1 yes.

i think i'm so emotionally worried about the characters on "fringe" that i just slept through dinner (2.5 hours). heh.

there's probably not much God can do with those who help themselves

“My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.” ― Thomas Merton, Thoughts in Solitude (quoted by: http://s3.amazonaws.com/churchplantmedia-cms/hope_church_nyc_queens_ny/jesus-reinstates-peter.mp3)

fringe 309, "the marionette"

wow: "I understand the facts. I know that she had reams of information about me and about my life and about the people that were close to me. And I understand that if she slipped up that she would have a completely reasonable explanation for it. And I guess to expect you to have seen past that is perhaps asking a little bit too much. But when I was over there, I thought about you. And you were just a figment of my imagination. But I held onto you, and it wasn't reasonable, and it wasn't logical, but I did it, so... why didn't you? She wasn't me. How could you not see that? Now she's everywhere. She's in my house, my job, my bed, and I don't want to wear my clothes anymore, and I don't want to live in my apartment, and I don't want to be with you. She's taken everything."

realization: i'm in the buy more part of my life (hopefully, and hopefully not another stanford). [and yep, yesterday was the last day with the u email.] happy birthday

"if i didn't like you so much..." :) i suppose i would, you know i would