holy crap.

i have an apartment!! and amazing housemates!!!!!!!!!

just turned it in...

pray pray pray.


pray pray pray!!

cj mahaney's talk at shepherd's conf - i love the insights from comment #2.

not because of who i am, but because of what you've done
not because of what i've done, but because of who you are






whom shall i fear
whom shall i fear
i am yours

another reason why i need to be humbled...

i just realized proverbs 29:18 applies to me, too...

without vision i perish.

without the vine i fall away
perhaps to burn.

dream job sounds a lot like mine...

especially this part

Speaking of interaction, I wish I could just spend every day talking to people about ideas and life in general. I love poker night when I just chill with friends and talk and listen and laugh (and win their money). The hang time after concerts is my favorite part of most weekends. I like discovering people.

I love big picture theorizing and strategizing - taking a problem and working with a team to brainstorm solutions. Some of the most satisfying moments in my life have been the collisions of lots of people's ideas to make one great idea better than the individuals'. To walk away from a meeting with a better way, with a new way, with a plan - as dorky as it sounds - does it for me. I want to make things better or make things possible that were thought impossible - and I want to do that with a team.

another one of this fine-line balance things i always wonder about...

shaun groves asks:

Do you ever feel like you're doing more harm than good? The thought's crossed my mind this morning.

I wonder if part of that self-doubt exists because, well, fact is, those we hurt are often louder than those we help. I tend to carry around the one criticism from the past week as if it were a boulder, the majority view, as if there isn't a mountain of good that came out of the same seven days.

You keep him in perfect peace
whose mind is stayed on you,
because he trusts in you.
-- isaiah 26:3

something cool to read from the iv ministries.

confusion

does being poor make it easier to believe in God?


after all, the opposite is true
(rich young ruler
it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven...)

my mom believes that revival in china is illegitimate, or at least worthy of suspicion, because of the intense poverty. but as china enters free market capitalism (in part fueled by their hosting the olympics next summer), she thinks that they will also turn from jesus...

david bazan (of pedro the lion)

why do i always forget this part?

Ultimately, and what Paul says is, “the law was given to bring death so that we might see our need for Christ.” That very thing that was kind of wired into the way things work, is what ultimately would cause our death. And yet, we cling to reaping and sowing as our means of preserving ourselves because it’s something we can have control over and it’s something we can take credit for when we’re successful, temporarily, with it.
You have people who are concerned with their rights. There is a phenomenon that we’re all pretty aware of in this country, [which] is considered entitlement. You feel entitled to certain things, you feel like you’ve earned certain things, that you deserve certain things. And that’s all based on the law of reaping and sowing. We perceive that, because we’ve done this and this and this, we’re entitled to this and this and this. Again, reaping and sowing becomes our only means of self-preservation and all of that is done in rebellion to God because God’s message to us is that he created us and created us to be taken care of by him, that he would be our self-preservation.

Then comes in God’s pursuit of us, his plan to redeem us, and his love for us. The basic tenet is, somewhere along the line our failure [at reaching God through] reaping and sowing causes us to realize that we have been imprinted in that way, we do need God and yet he’s unattainable. So comes God approaching us on his terms, saying: “Here’s the story. I’m willing to substitute Jesus’ perfect success in reaping and sowing for your failure in reaping and sowing so that we can hang out, so that I can pour out my love to you and so that you can be full. All of these things that I meant for your good originally—which are still good, yet are ultimately torment to you because they’re only shadows of me and they only remind you of me and how much you need me—now these things will be redeemed to you.” The ability to reason, the ability to love, the ability to understand abstract beauty, the ability to pursue and accomplish some sense of temporal calling—all of these things previously were shadows of and reminders of God’s likeness in us and the very things that ultimately torment us and draw us to him. He then redeemed all of these things back to us. It’s in the context of a secure relationship with him, our Creator, and is not based on anything but his pursuit of us and our acceptance of this gift of Jesus’ success as a reaper and sower. In the Sermon on the Mount, [Jesus] said, “I haven’t come to do away with the law and the prophets, I’ve come to fulfill them,” and the implication is, “because you’re incapable of fulfilling them.” In the end, we have this undeserved access to the very thing that we longed for.
There’s another aspect of God’s pursuit of us that really appeals to another aspect of his likeness in us, which is this sense of romance and a sense of wanting to be loved and accepted. All the while, he’s the one who’s pursuing us. We didn’t just realize one day, “You know, I think I do need God. I’m going to go to him and try to figure this whole thing out.” We’re aware of God for no other reason than that he approaches us and he says, “Look at me, I’m what you want.”

And really, that’s the freedom that makes the creative process work the way that it really can and should because in that context, the fear of failure is kind of irrelevant. Failure on the temporal level and on the physical level is guaranteed, it’s absolutely certain. But, in the realm that really matters, in that thing we long for—our relationship with God remaining secure—failure in that arena, if we approach God on the basis of faith, is impossible. Our failure is hidden behind Jesus’ success. So there is no fear of failure anymore. Why be afraid of the inevitable when it’s been taken care of? It’s as though your failure doesn’t exist. So we’re able to move forward in a way that is totally free and liberated. And not alone, either, [because] God is constantly pursuing us and communicating his love to us in a way that is just thoroughly inspiring to love him in return.

tell this first (shaun groves)

awesome, awesome post and application of the seth godin book.

CHURCH:
I wonder whether words we use in churches like "traditional" and "relevant" and "contemporary" and "emergent" and "accessible" and "upbeat" are really any different in purpose and power from words used on Madison Avenue like "hand-crafted" and "imported" and "value" and "new" and "limited-edition." I wonder if they tell the whole truth about us and whether they attract the kind of "customers" the whole truth would.

Pastors lament the lack of volunteerism and tithing in their church. They don't understand why their people fight about silly things like music preferences or the color of carpet being installed in the new Childrens building. And then I go to their web sites and see the story they told to sell their church (and their God) to people. Someone in their marketing department or behind the pulpit is telling the consumer (the member) that the church is a place to be comfortable, have fun and be served, to be cool (relevant) and trendy (cutting edge) and hear music (passionate worship). The consumer believes this story, grabs a seat and enjoys the show while the preschool department pays workers to watch kids since the church member/consumer won't.

Why would she, liar? Her actions are in line with the story you told her. Don't get angry now.

SETH SAYS, BUT I SAY:
Seth says this can't be undone, by the way. He says once the impression is made, once the expectation is set, once the story is told, it's in stone. I hope he's wrong. His one bit of advice on trying to change the original impression is to figure out what the truth is, who you are. Be who you are as a church, a musician, a tube of toothpaste starting now. Get that straight (I'm a teacher.) THEN tell that story to people who want or need who you are (My people: People who feel like their improving themselves and the world by learning. People who don't like how things are and want better. People who are rethinking what they believe. People who like to ask why.)

The truth is the best story we have. Tell this first.

who am i that you are mindful of me?...

Who am I that You are mindful of me
That You hear me when I call
Is it true that You are thinking of me
How You love me it's amazing
-- Israel, "Friend Of God"



a thought while driving:

maybe (if we aren't already), we should be after the men who agonize over their own holiness, and how they will account how they spend their lives before God.

no matter how "uncool" that might be.


(insert some -- yet undeveloped -- thought about grace here)