FOR THE JOY

https://www.brainpickings.org/2015/01/13/paul-goodman-silence/

Not speaking and speaking are both human ways of being in the world, and there are kinds and grades of each. There is the dumb silence of slumber or apathy; the sober silence that goes with a solemn animal face; the fertile silence of awareness, pasturing the soul, whence emerge new thoughts; the alive silence of alert perception, ready to say, “This… this…”; the musical silence that accompanies absorbed activity; the silence of listening to another speak, catching the drift and helping him be clear; the noisy silence of resentment and self-recrimination, loud and subvocal speech but sullen to say it; baffled silence; the silence of peaceful accord with other persons or communion with the cosmos.

https://www.brainpickings.org/2015/01/29/anna-deavere-smith-talk-to-me/

The effort to reclaim the realness of words — of culture, of public life, of private truth — through acting may seem, at first, like a counterintuitive, even paradoxical approach. But Smith writes: Acting is the furthest thing from lying that I have encountered. It is the furthest thing from make-believe. It is the furthest thing from pretending. It is the most unfake thing there is. Acting is a search for the authentic. It is a search for the authentic by using the fictional as a frame, a house in which the authentic can live. For a moment. Because, yes indeed, real life inhibits the authentic.

i still have the scale of wanting to be me more than i'd like to be anyone else. but not necessarily for my ability or for what i do but for my soul?

happy chuck finale day

"look for the suckers, the ones that can't do anything else." those are the ones you stick with. haha thanks chris fedak

alone all week. what's different?

"what about just accepting it?" man http://thingsweforget.blogspot.com/

http://www.amazon.com/Just-Add-Brains/dp/B00RSGJ0DW/

clan of the

ouch.

http://thoughtcatalog.com/heidi-priebe/2015/11/19-people-share-the-one-thing-they-wish-the-entps-in-their-lives-understood/

"People have a tough time getting close to you because you wear a different face for every situation. You seem effortlessly cool, but you feel frantically insecure. Let yourself be absurdly genuine with someone and you’ll find the real you.” –ENTP

“With the amount of time you’ve spent trying to avoid doing something you could have already gone and done it.” –ENFP

“I’m just never on top with you. I try. I try so goddamn hard, but you win every time: you’ve got a faster wit, a quicker tongue, a better argument, a funnier story. Your mind is like a computer running a million programs at once. You’re always one step ahead, testing every motherfucking boundary, pushing every limit, every envelope, every tradition. And I love it. Just don’t destroy yourself. You spiral so easily into skepticism and negativity. Let your mind be your friend, not your enemy.” –ISTP

“Be careful that you do not treat your friends as mere sounding-boards for your ideas or listening ears. Pay attention to them and their interests and learn how to have more of an attitude of, ‘how can I invest in this person‘ instead of ‘how can I use them.'” –ENTP

“Remember that commitment doesn’t have to equal boredom, boundaries, or stagnation. Give other people a chance to join you in your spontaneity and maybe you’ll find someone who can keep up.” –INFJ

“Sit still for a second. It won’t kill you.” –INTP

http://thoughtcatalog.com/heidi-priebe/2015/10/16-entps-explain-the-one-thing-they-wish-others-understood-about-their-personality/

“We are the opposite of the INTJ in that we seem warmer than we really are. I think most of us struggle to make real connections and end up lonely in a crowded room.”

“Having Ne means finding everything interesting and being able to understand different perspectives. it doesn’t mean I believe in all of them or that I am unsure, I am merely awesome at sewing things from different perspectives. My own thoughts are actually filtered and analyzed. You don’t get to see much of that.”

“We can appear cold, callous, and argumentative on the outside, but on the inside, we’re an ocean of insecurity. We act and talk the way we do because it’s therapeutic, and the greatest gift anyone can give us is understanding.”

“I prioritize novelty and freedom over security and obligations, so if I commit myself to something/someone it means that I care A LOT. I do not do things for recognition or reward. I want knowledge, experience, to feel alive in the moment. And if I am no longer passionate about something/someone, I have no trouble moving on and finding that spark elsewhere. This doesn’t mean I’m a commitment-phobe or aimless.”

“It isn’t laziness or procrastination. We’ve run the scenarios and possible outcomes. We probably got everything we wanted from the idea by just using the idea as a mental exercise. If we don’t jump into hyper focus mode and pursue it, then it isn’t practical for us (at least at that time) or the cost may be higher then the return (financially or socially). This is Okay, because we have already gained a lot just by chasing the idea and that was the real goal.”

a business of ferrets

49:53 "well, you're a comedian. quote unquote... comedians have this weird thing where a) their emotions are very-- they subvert them but they're just below the surface, so they tend to get angry very quickly. but also they sort of-- they're very introspective but they lack a little bit of an ability to really, honestly say where they are and what they are. that's why a lot of comedians are like 'hey this is what's going on with me' and it's either so terrible or so great - but really it's like something else, you know?" 50:23 -dickie copeland, improv obsession podcast

strong emotional stories

i legitimately asked jonathan groff if he had a photographic memory :) i look vaguely familiar! yes! hahaha. (in 2013 he asked me what my last name was and he might remember) and got to tell kenya bariss how inspiring the black-ish family's dining room conversations are! "every script you get better. not every script is better, you get better. so next time you can connect more strongly with the ball" and chris fedak how much i love chuck (say hi again next time) also specspecspec

Often times the showrunner you’re meeting with are waiting for a pickup or having just heard their pilot has to be overhauled. You have to be the fun part of their day. They want to know that you’re a person they’d like to spend hours with in a writers room.

When we finish the 10th draft of a script I always go through a mental checklist – how does each scene contribute thematically? How does is move forward each and every character? How does it push the A plot? Whatever happened to that side-character?

https://kiyong.wordpress.com/2011/07/18/interview-nora-and-lilla-zuckerman-warner-brothers-writers%E2%80%99-workshop-2009/

find something to be an expert on – the show’s history, or a profession, or a character’s hobby, or whatever – as it provides a clear way to participate in the discussion and can really help the process.

https://kiyong.wordpress.com/2013/10/22/interview-sam-miller-writers-assistant/ http://deadline.com/2015/04/white-boy-problems-ice-cube-blackish-kenya-barris-alex-barnow-new-line-mgm-1201412958/

sizzler edition :)

lapkus / schwartz: should i tell you what i know you want to hear or how i really feel. central to every relationship is how you represent yourself! haha

new playlist / new block of productivity / living

kanye feat pusha t - runaway sara bareilles + jason mraz - you matter to me david crowder band - come and listen

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/features/brie-larsons-20-year-climb-857011

"Amy allows us to laugh about things that have been [taboo] for so long," says Larson. "[Society's] feeling is: 'Do not discuss. Don't you dare.' And Amy says, 'Why? Being a human is super funny.' "

Schumer gave Larson a laundry list of favorite sketches to watch and introduced her to the doorman at the Comedy Cellar in New York, telling him, "This is Brie; let her come in whenever she wants." Larson sat in the back of the club, drinking water and watching one brilliant stand-up after another. "The first time I went, I actually started crying, which I don't think is what you are supposed to do at a comedy club. But I was so inspired," says Larson. "I would watch someone talking about his problems with his crazy sociopath girlfriend, and the way he worked out and unlocked the story was the same thing I was doing in Short Term 12." She remembers running up to Schumer and Apatow after one show and shouting, "Comedy is the superior medium!"

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/features/jennifer-lawrence-cate-blanchett-six-841113

MULLIGAN: There's always the things that you think are going to be tough. I've been nude once, and I was like, "Oh, that's going to be a nightmare," and actually that was fine. It's kind of, "F— it, now I'm naked and everyone else isn't. This is hilarious." But [the toughest part of acting] is never a single thing. It's more like a whole character. I find film really difficult — trying to make it feel like a consistent character when you're filming everything out of order.

http://heatherplett.com/2015/03/hold-space/

What does it mean to hold space for someone else? It means that we are willing to walk alongside another person in whatever journey they’re on without judging them, making them feel inadequate, trying to fix them, or trying to impact the outcome. When we hold space for other people, we open our hearts, offer unconditional support, and let go of judgement and control.

To truly support people in their own growth, transformation, grief, etc., we can’t do it by taking their power away (ie. trying to fix their problems), shaming them (ie. implying that they should know more than they do), or overwhelming them (ie. giving them more information than they’re ready for). We have to be prepared to step to the side so that they can make their own choices, offer them unconditional love and support, give gentle guidance when it’s needed, and make them feel safe even when they make mistakes.

Give people permission to trust their own intuition and wisdom. Give people only as much information as they can handle. Don’t take their power away. Keep your own ego out of it. Make them feel safe enough to fail. Give guidance and help with humility and thoughtfulness. Create a container for complex emotions, fear, trauma, etc. Allow them to make different decisions and to have different experiences than you would.

http://www.americantheatre.org/2014/11/21/impro-raises-the-theatrical-bar/

Above all, Impro’s work has taught me to demand more from the theatre, and from the culture in which it is embedded. The people who would entertain us have got to reward our faith. Trusting Impro to invent a long, inspiriting story has become one of my life’s most reliable enjoyments. And this is the crux of the movement’s value: Longform improvisation, properly executed, is a feat expanding the definition of human potential. Dilettantes need not apply. Besides character-oriented performance elements like emotional and physical dexterity, a performer must master the theories of intention; the use of space; the function of theme; the purposes of exposition, plot and story. It takes decades to become proficient in this art, which exemplifies the ephemeral, before-your-very-eyes nature of the theatrical experience itself. Here might be the salvation the theatre seeks. Here is a thing you cannot get anywhere but in person. You cannot see it on any screen, you cannot rewind it, you cannot “share” it in a clip on social media. You can’t even go back and check the script. To be exhilarated in this way, you must attend a live venue in communion with other humans—and attend to the show as it is born, lives and dies.

http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/09/06/theater-talkback-finding-inspiration-in-improvisation/

I’m always looking for a ticket to Nowsville. These days what gets me there has something to do with what feels genuine and truthful, art as opposed to artifice. I’m not finding too much of it in modern music: the posturing rock, the stale classical institution, jazz, which mostly has its head way up its own rear, as does most musical theater, which really needs to open some windows and breathe some outside air. Exceptions like Jack White are few and far between, and I’d go anywhere to hear music that thrills me in a genuine way.

http://splitsider.com/2013/05/the-annotated-wisdom-of-amy-poehler/

Family They say that sibling relationships are the most important relationship in your life, because they know you for every period of your life. They know you when you were a baby and as an adult, and, hopefully, they know you in your old age. Your parents leave too early, your lovers come much later in your life, but your sibling has been with you. [How Was Your Week, 2011]

AVC: What do you get emotionally out of performing improv at this stage of your career? AP: I get to see a lot of the same people week after week, and sometimes even after a busy week, even an SNL week, it's really, really great to go to the theater, because I find it very rejuvenating. It makes you feel really young—sometimes you have to make sure that you'll take risks, because sometimes you get a little nervous about taking risks. I don't know why, maybe you feel like you have more to lose. Sometimes when you get too worried about how you look, or about how something's gonna go, you kind of lose what made you special in the first place. I think that ASSSSCAT will really do that to you, really remind you that things are supposed to be dangerous, you're supposed to feel uncomfortable, you're supposed to enjoy not knowing, trusting your partner, and not falling back on the same stuff, and I think that that does that for me. It's the kind of thing that every time, even when I'm really tired, or I feel kind of burned-out, or I feel like I don't have anything—every time I go out and do it, I feel a thousand times better. Maybe it's some good old-fashioned ego-stroking from the audience, but it is really nice to perform live theater. There's nothing really else like it. That's it. It's simply selfish for me at this point, but I'd like to think that it's communal. It makes you feel like: "If I died, and I was in my apartment by myself, at least some friendly people would be like 'Where's Amy'?" [Laughs.] I feel like they would finally find me. http://www.avclub.com/article/amy-poehler-14220

http://www.ew.com/article/2013/01/24/sundance-acod-amy-poehler-adam-scott

agency vs control

perfectionism vs a safe person

:) jean

"we're going to sell things this year."

"I believe that owning our worthiness is the act of acknowledging that we are sacred." that because we live, we have dignity and worth Daring Greatly p. 151

http://s1.ibtimes.com/sites/www.ibtimes.com/files/styles/v2_article_large/public/2012/10/04/2011/08/04/142961-crop-circle.jpg http://us11.campaign-archive1.com/?u=a5b04a26aae05a24bc4efb63e&id=64e6f35176&e=1ba99d671e

the show after friends where it’s the fallout from 10 seasons of spending so much time together (even though himym stretched incredulity - why are you 40 and at a bar? - it was still not something you ever wanted to end). you learn to rely on something, and just when you do it’s over or the other person doesn’t feel the same way. (just a different kind of heartbreak)

you matter

if you're wondering how many times i can fit the full version of "runaway" in an eight hour workday, it's 83, and also my new unit of measurement for momentous occasions in my life

productivity in 9:08 runaway chunks

friendship / third wheelness / wallaby?

https://www.brainpickings.org/2014/04/23/love-undetectable-andrew-sullivan-friendship/ https://www.brainpickings.org/2015/04/29/david-whyte-consolations-words/

HEARTBREAK is unpreventable; the natural outcome of caring for people and things over which we have no control… Heartbreak begins the moment we are asked to let go but cannot, in other words, it colors and inhabits and magnifies each and every day; heartbreak is not a visitation, but a path that human beings follow through even the most average life. Heartbreak is an indication of our sincerity: in a love relationship, in a life’s work, in trying to learn a musical instrument, in the attempt to shape a better more generous self. Heartbreak is the beautifully helpless side of love and affection and is [an] essence and emblem of care… Heartbreak has its own way of inhabiting time and its own beautiful and trying patience in coming and going.

Heartbreak asks us not to look for an alternative path, because there is no alternative path. It is an introduction to what we love and have loved, an inescapable and often beautiful question, something and someone that has been with us all along, asking us to be ready for the ultimate letting go.

https://www.brainpickings.org/2014/08/13/emerson-on-friendship/

Returning to the building blocks of true friendship, Emerson points out that the most valuable friendships don’t spring from a filter bubble of like-mindedness but, rather, from the perfect osmosis of shared values and just enough discrepancy in tastes and sensibilities to broaden our horizons: Friendship requires that rare mean betwixt likeness and unlikeness, that piques each with the presence of power and of consent in the other party… I hate, where I looked for a manly furtherance, or at least a manly resistance, to find a mush of concession. Better be a nettle in the side of your friend, than his echo. The condition which high friendship demands is ability to do without it… Let it be an alliance of two large formidable natures, mutually beheld, mutually feared, before yet they recognize the deep identity which beneath these disparities unites them.

Friendship demands a religious treatment. We talk of choosing our friends, but friends are self-elected. Reverence is a great part of it. Treat your friend as a spectacle. [Your friend] has merits that are not yours, and that you cannot honor, if you must needs hold him close to your person. Stand aside; give those merits room; let them mount and expand. Are you the friend of your friend’s buttons, or of his thought? To a great heart he will still be a stranger in a thousand particulars, that he may come near in the holiest ground… Leave this touching and clawing. Let him be to me a spirit.

To entrust a friend with the burden of our own wholeness, he suggests, is not only to place an unbearable weight on the relationship but also to relinquish vital personal responsibility: We must be our own before we can be another’s… The least defect of self-possession vitiates, in my judgment, the entire relation. There can never be deep peace between two spirits, never mutual respect until, in their dialogue, each stands for the whole world.

/// People wish to be settled; only as far as they are unsettled is there any hope for them. https://www.brainpickings.org/2015/03/11/david-whyte-three-marriages-work-life/

where my phone charger is is wherever i lay my head

overidentify...

why is applesauce so expensive again

i don't have a roommate, i have a cleaning fairy :/

10k tweets from 3/08 on

we made it?

cold call from caroline

"hello kitty was right. there is such thing as a best friend." "hello kitty. frog best friend keroppi."

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/kindness-emotions-psychology/

Teasing is the art of playful provocation, of using our playful voices and bodies to provoke others to avoid inappropriate behaviors. Marc Bekoff, a biologist at the University of Colorado, Boulder, has found in remarkable work with coyotes that they sort out leaders from aggressive types in their rough-and-tumble biting. The coyotes that bite too hard in such provocative play are relegated to low status positions. We likewise accomplish so much with the right kind of teasing.
Teasing (in the right way, which is what most people do) offers so much. It is a way to play and express affection. It is a way of negotiating conflicts at work and in the family. Teasing exchanges teach children how to use their voices in innumerable ways—such an important medium of communication. In teasing, children learn boundaries between harm and play. And children learn empathy in teasing, and how to appreciate others’ feelings (for example, in going too far). And in teasing we have fun. All of this benefit is accomplished in this remarkable modality of play.

ooh elite '16

also, do whatever it takes to be kind.

(outdo one another in showing honor)

2016: ask?

just woke up from a dream where i moved from five months of cookie harlot to b99 wa. when my brain concocts rest it comes up with that doozy now. ask?

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh They're walking to the Beat of a broken drum Digging for worth in A land under a foreign sun The children call bitter words Of a strange tongue Hearts down, they're walking Heavy until the dying's down Oh oh oh oh Oh oh oh oh Oh oh oh oh I see their hands Some hold a bottle Some hold back And in their eyes A wave of light In a sea of black Their voices low Trembling for blood to drink And what they know Of a deep that cries to Deep in the night The night oh they call They call In the night, the night Oh they call They call now Oh hear the monsters calling home No they don't wanna be alone, but the Closet they keep closed Swallow the key so that nobody Nobody knows how they beat Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh They beat their chest to the sounds Of their broken hearts Crying wolf under sheep's skins Reaching out their claws Stomping their feet Never letting up the dust Choking up their lungs. Told to be a father Growing up into a fatherless Son, oh my son, won't you come, won't you come Son, oh my son, won't you come, won't you come Son, oh my son, won't you come, won't you come Son, oh my son, won't you come, won't you come Oh hear the monsters calling home No they don't wanna be alone, but the Closet they keep closed Swallow the key so Nobody knows how they beat Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ///
There's a fight to be won For the love you find at home. Work to be done Before you rest your weary bones. I'm finding peace don't come To everyone I know, So I will love in this life Until I finally have to go. Said I will love in this life Until I finally have to go. Well I know I have lived Just a wrinkle of my life, And I hear so many times It'll be over if I blink twice. Please forgive if I don't walk Off that plank stuck in your eye. I've got my life to love And I'm here to take what's mine. I've got my life to love And I'm here to take what's mine. Growing up child Is just a matter of time, For giving all you've got, So won't you dance under the sun. Growing old Feels like you're giving up your soul. I'd rather give it freely To the ones that I call home. I ain't scared, no not afraid Of the world in front of me. I found my way without your help With a broken family. I'll take my breaks with my sins, I'll do as I do please With my friends 'til the end, There lies my loyalty. With my friends 'til the end, My lies, their loyalty. I used to close my eyes To what stirred under my bed, Now they're open wide To the monsters in my bed. Instead of claws, they whisper lies Sinking fear in quiet steps, So I will fight in the light 'Til I give my final breath. Said I'll fight in the light 'Til I give my final breath. Oh I will fight in the light 'Til I give my final breath. Said I'll fight in the light 'Til I give my final breath. Growing up child Is just a matter of time, For giving all you've got, So won't you dance under the sun. Growing old Feels like you're giving up your soul. I'd rather give it freely To the ones that I call home. Growing up child Is just a matter of time, For giving all you've got, So won't you dance under the sun. Growing old Feels like you're giving up your soul. I'd rather give it freely To the ones that I call home. Growing up child Is just a matter of time, For giving all you've got, So won't you dance under the sun. Growing old Feels like you're giving up your soul. I'd rather give it freely To the ones that I call home.