i sent in my summer project application three minutes ago.










effectively, i just did this:



hmmm

and this one makes me cry.

Tuesday, February 18, 2003

I Have No Title For This

So you want to talk about homosexuality? YOU want to talk about homosexuality? You want to talk about homosexuALITY?

Sit down CHRIStian. Give me that bible you’re waving before you hurt yourself. I’m going to resist the temptation to snatch it from your hands and beat you with it. I am your worst nightmare, a Texas preacher who knows The Book better than you do.

You cannot wave your unread bible and scare me. I know its larger story and I will tear you a new biblical asshole.

Show me your scriptures. Show me how you justify condemning homosexual people.

Show me what you got, Christian. The Sodom story? That story is about people who wanted to commit a brutal rape. Let’s all say it together, “God doesn’t like rape”. You could have listened to your heart and learned that, Christian. Move on. What else you got?

A weak-ass little passage from Leviticus? Are you kidding me? Are you prepared to adhere to the whole Levitical code of behavior? No? Then why would you expect others to? What else?

Two little passages - two verses from Romans and one from I Corinthians. There you stand, your justification for a worldwide campaign of hatred is written on two limp pieces of paper. I know these passages, both their greater context and the original language. I could show you why you have nothing, but there is something more important you need to see.

Come with me to the church cellar. Come now and don’t delay. I am shaking with anger and fighting the urge to grab you by the collar and drag you down these steps.

You didn’t know the church had a cellar? Oh yes, every church does. Down, down we go into the darkness. Don’t slip on the flagstone and never mind the heat.

There, do you see the iron furnace door, gaping open? Do you see the roaring flames? Do you see the huge man with glistening muscles, covered with soot? Do you see him feeding the fire as fast as can with his massive, scooped shovel?

He feeds these flames with the bible, with every book, chapter, and verse that American Christians must burn to support our bloated lifestyles, our selfishness, our materialism, our love of power, our neglect of the poor, our support of injustice, our nationalism, and our pride.

See how frantically he works? Time is short, and he has much to burn. The prophets, the Shema, whole sections of Matthew, most of Luke, the entire book of James. Your blessed 10 commandments? Why would you want to post them on courtroom walls when you’ve burned them in your own cellar?

Do you see? DO YOU SEE? Do you see how we rip, tear, and burn scripture to justify our lives?

The heat from this cursed furnace rises up and warms the complacent worshippers in the pews above. The soot from the fire blackens our stained glass so that we may not see out and no one wants to see in.

Do you smell the reek of this injustice? It is a stink in the nostrils of the very living God. We are dressed in beautiful clothes and we wear pretty smiles, but we stink of this blasphemous holocaust.

Every church in America has a cellar like this. We must shovel 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, because every chapter and book we ignore must be burned to warm our comfy pews.

And you come to me with two little scraps of scripture to justify your persecution of God’s children?

Sit down Christian. Sit down and be you silent.



How long has it been since you forgot that we were called to walk the earth as pilgrims? Do you not remember when HE told us to give our coats to those in need and sell our possessions to help the poor? Did you forget how the first church had all things in common so that none would lack.

Did you forget the day He told us that whatever we did for the oppressed we did for Him, and whatever we withheld from them was kept from Him as well?



Sit down Christian. You have not earned the right to speak to this generation. The right to speak is earned with love.

Take back your bible. Take it back and start reading it. Fall in love again with Jesus. Sell what you must and walk the earth. Let your love be astonishing and people may one day listen to your words.



Even now you might be saved. Our God is merciful and forgiveness awaits.

real live preacher

his stuff is always great, but this one makes me catch my breath.

wisdom from hank hill

this too is brilliant.

challenging youth ministry.

read ^^



heres the hardest part:

Twice each year, I take two busloads of high school students on retreats at which they worship, walk labyrinths, talk in small groups with adults who care about them, and "hang out" in Christian community. Upon arrival, low-cut jeans, exposed mid-riffs and tight tank tops were exchanged for hooded sweatshirts and sweat pants. The girls breathe more easily, the burden of being cool and sexy having been lifted from their shoulders. This doesn't happen because of an imposed dress code. It's their idea. Youth group is a different community. The usual social hierarchies have no traction here, because this is Sabbath time. Here everything begins and ends with prayer, and the distinct message of the gospel permeates everything. "Hear and believe the Good News," I say to them, "Jesus is not cool."

Teens respond to the message that their faith offers an alternative to the world. But this realization requires a community of adults who embody this difference. Explaining that life in the Body of Christ is different is insufficient. Adults must show how to live this difference. Where are the adults and trained ministers capable of leading youth and their parents into the particular story of God's work in the world?

Good youth pastors are difficult to find. Seminaries do not usually encourage their students toward youth ministry, and most young pastors avoid youth ministry like the plague. Church members and older pastors think of youth ministry as "entry-level" work, which only encourages younger clergy to climb the ladder toward something worth their time. Besides, youth ministry is hard. I lose more battles than I win.

After a particularly difficult night, I shared my struggles with a young woman interested in becoming a youth minister. "I'm not sure you want to get into this," I said. "There are other things you could do." She sat in a moment of stunned silence. Then she told me about her college years.

"My faith was no match for college," she said. "Youth group was fun, but no one taught me anything." She recalled those years marked by drugs, broken relationships, an eating disorder, sex, pregnancy and eventually abortion. Finally, with tear-filled eyes, she said, "Don't you see? If I had grown up in a youth group like yours, I would have had a fighting chance."

me too.

for safekeeping.

josh harris:

You don't have to prove someone wrong to do what you know is right.

mike erre, on God's will:

this whole God's will discussion really spun me for years of my life until i actually stopped reading books and started reading the bible about it.
and God's will, and all of the debates that go with it - this is my personal opinion - are ridiculous.
cause God's will boils down to one thing, are you ready?

if you are faithful to do what he has clearly called you to do today,
he will guide you tomorrow. end of story.

but the scriptures seem to clearly declare God's way more interested in declaring his will to you than you are in finding it. and if your heart is fuly surrendered to him... he will not let you wander away. period.

1 Thessalonians 5
Final Instructions and Benediction

We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves. And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all. See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone. 16 Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Do not quench the Spirit. Do not despise prophecies, but test everything; hold fast what is good. Abstain from every form of evil.

Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.

Brothers, pray for us.

Greet all the brothers with a holy kiss.

I put you under oath before the Lord to have this letter read to all the brothers.

The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you.

2 Corinthians 1:9: "Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead."


i've had plenty of these 'sentences' lately.
and its true.
from a distance its so funny how prolific i become in prayer, when i'm usually sluggish and uninspired.
upon closer inspection its just sad.


but it was good to meet with the advisor today... and it turned into a blessing. i was affirmed that i am indeed a student who screwed up, not such a dying breed as i was starting to wonder in a burst of melodrama. certainly if they had wanted to kick me out there was no way to stop them - rules are rules. but it was nice to have a touch of grace following the abrupt detour into real fear. certainly,

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! (ephesians 3:20-21)

digging into this a little further shows up in a timely fashion for me:

margot adler: http://www.beliefnet.com/story/1/story_122.html

essentially:
to anticipate
see and expect him in everything

then this absolute gem:

One of the quotations I have struggled with is the one on religion by Karl Marx: "Religion is the opiate of the people." Most of us think of Marx as militantly anti-religion, a total materialist. But very few people in America are familiar with the whole passage, fewer have spent any time pondering its meaning. Marx wrote:

Religion is the sigh of the hard pressed, the heart of a heartless world, the opiate of the people. Religion is the flowers with which man's chains are decked. Criticism of religion disillusions man, not so that he may wear his chains without the comfort of illusions, but so that he may break the chains and pluck the living flower.

Since this passage was written by Marx in his younger and more humanistic phase, I have wondered what he meant by "living flowers." Was he, in fact, struggling to reconcile spirit with matter before he lost heart? Sometimes I imagine that what he was really trying to say was that there is a distinction between real spirituality and the oppressive religions of church and state. Perhaps the "living flowers" represent the deep spirituality that can exist when there is no longer a split between the world of matter and the world of spirit.

dar williams, beliefnet.com interview.

hm. i think she has her finger on what IS powerful about 'spirituality' and 'spiritual revival,' as painfully vague as these terms are.


on heroes:

"I'm a big fan of [Beliefnet columnist] Margot Adler. I think that I gravitate towards people who think very hard about spiritual issues and political issues but who also have humility and a sense of humor. I've really been lucky to run into many people like that."


and

"One of the things I learned as a religion major is that in all religions there is this idea of being a vessel for divine power, whereby through meditation, through work, through personal integrity, you have this inner electricity that could connect with divine electricity. That somehow you could be struck dead by it if it was too much for you to take. You had to be in a position to receive that voltage. I think if I met the Dalai Lama, I would only get the Dalai Lama as much as I was ready to get the Dalai Lama.

So really, the spiritual person I have to be impressed with is me."


i guess one would call this divine appointment.
and the last sentence sounds a lot like my mom: "i dont want you competing with anyone but yourself... and i wont call you out on that either." like, hm, joy luck club (which some of us still need to get together and watch! hahah)...

Jing-Mei 'June' Woo: I'm just sorry that you got stuck with such a loser, that I've always been so disappointing.
Suyuan: What you mean disappoint? Piano?
Jing-Mei 'June' Woo: Everything: my grades, my job, not getting married, everything you expected of me.
Suyuan: Not expect anything! Never expect! Only hope! Only hoping best for you. That's not wrong, to hope.

its interesting too... all these connections to precollege years have popped up lately. just yesterday in my womens studies class i saw a video which featured my sixth grade english teacher... dar williams is the younger sister of my 11th grade us history teacher, who's probably taught me the most out of anyone (beyond elementary school, my favorite time)... no such thing as coincidences?


let me be
humility and humor
having encountered
the fullness and the favor of christ.

standing up for nothing

Well, I can't stop staring at myself;
My face reflected in this empty plate.
I can't decide if it's the devil
Or if it's just something I ate.
'Cause he's been down there all morning.
He's patiently waiting at my gate.
He's throwing rocks at my window.
Hey won't you come on out and play with me?

But everyday when I get up
I see folks trading in their crowns
for all these paper or plastic lives;
An opiate for the masses hounds.
And pride, like a vestige of lives lost.
It's the stench of the old folks coming 'round.
Now with the news I heard today,
I can't tell if this world is lost or found.

You go; I'll be waiting here.
And I'm awake, I cannot sleep.
So I'll sit upon this rock is you.
I ain't standing up for nothing.

Well, I've never seen my congressman,
But I can't deny that he exists.
'Cause I've seen his legislation pass;
I've seen his name on the ballot list.
Same, I can't deny this fallen world.
Though not my home it's where I live.
How can I preserve and light the way
for a world that I can't admit I'm in?

'Cause I know who I say You are,
But these crows can't be made to stop.
So I'll sit denying by this fire
I ain't standing up for nothing

Lack of interest leads to,
Lack of knowledge leads to,
Lack of perspective leads to,
Lack of communication leads to,
Lack of understanding leads to,
Lack of concern leads to,
This complacency denotes,
This approval denies
The truth.

I can't stop staring at myself;
It's my face reflected in this empty plate.
And I know that it's the devil.

So You lead; and I'll be close behind.
So You speak and I'll hang on Your words.
You've got to lift me from this hardened tree,
'Cause I ain't standing up for nothing


caedmons call (1997)

the carlos whittaker band...

is fantastic.
this is matt redman's "the heart of worship" fleshed out.


"worship you"

beneath the thoughts of worship
past my words of grace
lies a heart so calloused
as i come into this place
in need of a refining
i step into your fire
where words and thoughts mean nothing
breaking down my pride

now when i worship you
i want to be more like you
so i reach out to you
my heart and life align
i want to treasure you
the way that you treasure me
i come to worship you my lord

sanctified in leaving
who i am for you
set apart for worshipping the truth
father now my rhythm
moves for something more
take me now, break me now
show me who's my lord

now when i worship you
i want to be more like you
so i reach out to you
my heart and life align
i want to treasure you
the way that you treasure me
i come to worship you my lord


ive played it... 60 times? since i left conference. love it.